Middle-of-Summer Sadness

I blinked and somehow, we’re halfway through summer. The Fourth of July came and went, as did my 10-year high school reunion where I took advance of the open bar and requested Justin Beiber nonstop to the DJ. Big Bear has only two weeks left of camp and the countdown until fall begins. But not before my baby boy turns 2-years-old.

I remember the summer that Little Bear was born. Big Bear was just shy of two-and-a-half and we spent our summer counting the sailboats on the boardwalk of Peacock Park and sharing plain bagels with butter at Starbucks after soccer lessons. I spent Big Bear’s naptime sterilizing bottles, nipples and pacifiers for an unborn Little Bear and washing newborn clothes, swaddle blankets and everything else under the sun with Dreft laundry detergent.

Little Bear hasn’t been a baby for what feels like such a long time. He talks nonstop, even though half of it is still undecipherable. He runs and dances. He can drink out of a cup, he can use a fork. He takes naps like a champ and will sit on his potty.

He’s almost as much of a boy as his older brother, and this creepy, crazy nanny is ready for another baby.

You hear these stories about women who after the kids are grown they miss having a baby and suddenly have another baby. I am turning into this lady. Only different is they aren’t my kids and I don’t have my own family.

But to be honest, I see where this desire for another baby comes from. Baby’s aren’t independent. Although you are a slave to them, you can still manipulate them into doing what you want them to do. Toddlers, and children, aren’t the same.

Case in point. I really don’t care for the movie Moana. But BB loves it. Every time he wants to watch it, which for a while was daily, our conversations would go like this.

“Rach, let’s watch Moana.”

“How about Trolls?”




“Frozen, Peppa Pig, Mickey Mouse?!”

Still silence.

“Fine, Moana it is.”

When LB was younger, I was able to take him anywhere and he would sit quietly in the stroller and observe his surroundings. Now he either wants to be out of the stroller and pushing it or he wants to be carried the whole time.

But a teeny-tiny baby? They kind of just lay there like a blob and do nothing. Sure, I have PTSD from a sleepless Little Bear who kept me on my feet for all ten-hours of my work day. But he smelt so good! He was so cuddly!

I think I need some adult friends.

For Little Bear’s initiation into the Terrible Twos, his parents are throwing him a party at the new house. Which is perfect, because this house is laid out to host some parties. Large, outdoor patios with fans and tvs. A large BBQ area.

LB’s girlfriends from Gymboree and  his one male friend from Silly Monkeys will be attending. I will be a guest and will try and not act like the hostess/mother.

Only two weeks left, and BB will be out of camp. Right after that the school year starts. I’m hoping the month of August won’t be unbearably hot and that we can squeeze in a few zoo and seaquarium days.

And maybe during that time, I’ll be gifted with baby #3. The house is already a chaotic mess. How can a newborn possibly make this house any loonier?

A nanny can dream!


It usually isn’t blogworthy every time Little Bear says a new word. At this rate, I’d be blogging 6-8 times a day. But in this case, I’ll make an exception. For Little Bear has finally said my name.

For the longest time, I swear it’s like I didn’t existed to him. I was just there to make him food and change his diapers. There was no other attachment. We would go around the room and ask Little Bear to point at everyone. “Where’s Mama?”“Where’s Dada?” “Grandma?” “Grandpa?” “Big Bro?”

When they would get to “Where’s Rachel?” For a while, he would just look around. Wondering who this woman was. I would pretend that I wasn’t offended. But helloooo we spend 10 hours a day together. That starts to sting.

Slowly but surely, I got added into the rotation. He’d point to me and smile. Then after the recognition came the love. Someone would say “go give this to Rachel or go give Rachel a hug,” and he’d run over smiling and do what he was told. While this always melted my heart, it wasn’t until he officially said my name that my heart officially melted.

I was in the kitchen one morning, most likely making French toast for Little Bear and heating up pancakes for Big Bear, because they can’t ever eat the same thing for breakfast. LB was with dad on the couch. LB was looking at me and saying “toast, food, more” when dad asked him to say Rachel.

And he did.


He said it on the very first try.

Sure, it kind of sounded like he wasn’t a native English speaker, which I guess he still really isn’t, but he unmistakably said Rachel.

Dad and I both starred at each other in surprise. It took Big Bear longer to say Rachel. So, we tried a nickname. First, we tried Ray, my most common nickname, but he kept looking over at his toy Sting Ray we got from the Bahamas. Seeing the confusion, we settled for Rach. And Rach stuck. Everyone in the Bear House calls me Rach. Big Bear, Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa.

I’ve always liked being called Rach. No one in my family ever calls me it. It’s like I have my own exclusive identify with the Bears, only to be said by my Day-Fam.

I read somewhere that there is no sound people like more than the sound of their own name. I’m not sure if that’s why I love hearing LB say my name or it’s because I feel he truly knows who I am.

He says Rachel all the time now. When the Gymboree teachers hugs, and kisses him, he reaches out for me and says “Rachel, Rachel.” When I walked in the house in the morning or leave in the afternoon, he says my name over and over.

It’s fun that to both boys I have two different names. It’s clear that to BB I will always be Rach and to LB I feel I’ll always be Rachel.

Rachel, Rach, Rayorony or whoever I am, started out summer with a bang. There was a two- week gap between the end of school and the start of Big Bears summer camp, and the days flew by. The first week, it poured every day. So, we spent our days at the Miami Children’s Museum, Silly Monkeys and Gymboree. This week we added a trip to the Zoo Miami.

The boys are obsessed with these funky, wax molds you can collect for $2 throughout the Zoo. Big Bear wanted a Somali Wild Ass, Little Bear a tiger. Big Bear said I needed to get the red butterfly so we could all have our own.

Even though Little Bear melted my heart by saying Rachel, Big Bear melts my heart with the phrases he says. Like when he doesn’t want me to go home at the end of the day or when he randomly turns to me and says “Rachel, I love you.”

It’s easy to get overwhelmed when trying to wrangle two kids into their car seats, load up the double stroller, grab three Contigo water bottles, all the snacks and sun screens and bug sprays. It’s even more overwhelming when you’re stuck in traffic and Little Bear starts to cry and Big Bear is telling you to go already. But there’s nothing quite like the look of excitement on their tiny faces when they are in a moment of joy, and when Big Bear thanks your for a field trip day.

Big Bear starts camp at Ransom Everglades on Monday and Little Bear and I will be back to our old routine. I’m going to miss walking into the house each morning and finding both boys on the couch with bed head. But that’s life for you. Always keeping you on your toes.

Last Hurrah before Summer

Last week was Big Bear’s last week of classes for PreK 3. How did he spend it? Curled up on the couch watching Doc Mcstuffins, The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Elena of Avalor. With a packet of boogie wipes never out of reach.

Big Bear went to school Monday and came home happy. But by late afternoon, he had a cough that made him sound like an 80-year-old chain smoker which a hoarse voice to match. A trip to the doctor on Tuesday revealed that although he didn’t have croup, he had a cold. So, the rest of the week, I balanced my time between Big Bear and Little Bear.

Luckily, Big Bear being home sick didn’t get in the way of Little Bear’s schedule too much. We still made it to our Gymboree and Silly Monkeys classes. The only difference was after each class, we didn’t have time to linger with his two girlfriends. He has two now. We had to rush home to Big Bear, who was either being watched by Grandma or dad.

Having BB at home for the rest of the week confused Little Bear. He is used to spending his days with just his nanny. He is used to not seeing his big bro until after his nap. He knew that BB being home wasn’t normal, and he didn’t have any problem in defending himself when his big bro picked on him.

I am not used to having both boys fight for my attention. Usually, while one is cuddling with me or reading books with me, the other boy is with a parent or grandparent. But last week it was mostly just me. When I sat on the floor reading BB a book with him sitting in my lap, LB got frustrated and wanted to read with us. So he crawled on top of his brother to sit in my lap. If I was holding one boy, the other boy wanted to be held, too. Little Bear is no longer a little baby that I can leave in his walker while Big Bear and I try and spend some time alone together. He sees when he’s being left out and he now knows how to fight for his own attention.

On BB’s second day home from school, he wanted to run around, play in Grandpa’s office. He wanted to pull every toy off of every bookcase. This raised our eyebrows. “If you’re well enough to run around the house and play,” we told him, “you are well enough to go to school.” He did not like our ultimatum, but he complied. He couldn’t play in Grandpa’s office until the end of the day like normal. Grandma can’t play with him all day because she has work to do, too. To him, being home from school with his nanny meant a trip to the museum, or a building a big fort that took up the entire playroom. He didn’t like being told that although he was home from school, everyone else in the house still had to work.

I haven’t had to deal with both boys on a non-field trip day for a while. I forgot how hard it is to juggle more than one kid. Big Bear and I would be playing calmly together, and Little Bear would run out of the room. After a few seconds of realizing he wasn’t planning on coming back, I’d go look for him. I’d find him attempting to climb the stairs or break into the laundry room. He would just stare at me. If I wasn’t going to give him my full attention, he was going to entertain himself his own way. 

Somehow, each day I managed to get both boys to nap at the same time. We had a routine. I’d give LB a bottle and rock him until he fell asleep. Then I’d go into BB’s room and read him a few stories. This week we spent our story time reading about ocean animals. Did you know that a blue whale’s tongue weighs as much as an elephant?!

After we’d read, and he’d hustle me for more stories, I would sit in the rocking chair until he fell asleep. Then I’d creep out of the room, put back together the house and work on homework until both boys woke up.

I think BB truly was fighting a cold, but I also think he was exhausted. He usually doesn’t get home until late each afternoon. He’s ready to play, but I’m pushing him into a bath, to eat dinner. All the things he needs to do before I leave for the day. It was nice to have a few quite days at home with him. Sure, LB destroyed every puzzle we’d put together. Every train track we engineered. But the three of us got to spend a few days in the new Bear House alone.

I left work Friday night for a three-day weekend. But it wasn’t three days without my boys. On Sunday, the boys, mom and dad, grandpa and grandma and my sister, had brunch at the Rusty Pelican on Key Biscayne. Little Bear sat on the high chair the whole time- a human garbage disposal. Anything you put in front of him, he ate. Big Bear spent most of the brunch sucking up shredded parmesan cheese with a straw and asking everyone if they wanted a straw of parmesan cheese. I get now why my parents never took me out to eat when I was under five.

This Memorial Day Weekend, I’m not on a boat like most Miamians. I’m not day drinking (or drinking at all, to be honest). I’m thinking about how after this week, Big Bear is done with PreK 3. How an entire year has flown by. Again. To me, summer is here. The heat has made that very clear. Another school year is gone and summer is here. Time to break out the sunscreen.

The Bears get a new Bear House

It’s Sunday morning and I’m procrastinating my writing. I have a big online assignment due for my children’s book writing course and a phone interview to work on a 1,200 word story I’ll be reading at a showcase in two weeks. But I am here, writing in the outlet that first brought my love for writing back to me.

Things are moving pretty quickly in the Bear House. I went out of town and when I came back, the Bear’s were proud owners of a new house. The house, boy is it gorgeous. Little Bear finally gets his own room (which isn’t the dining room) the boys have a real playroom (instead of the formal living room) and Mama and Papa Bear won’t have a Jack and Jill bathroom connected to Big Bear’s room.

The house now is overflowing with toys and crafts. Since LB doesn’t have a proper room, his toys and clothes overflows into the rest of the house. I think the new house will bring a little peace and calm to a house that is chaotic and loud. But wait, aren’t all houses chaotic and loud?

I went to visit the new Bear House this week after Big Bear got home from school. Besides the stairs to the second floor that could quite possibly be a deathtrap, I couldn’t find anything wrong with the house. Except maybe the missing nanny wing? I’ll wait patiently for that addition.

I am so happy for the new house, especially since it’s close to the Grove, but I will deeply miss the old one. Mainly for it’s location. It’s still in Coral Gables, but isn’t walking distance to the our favorite places, the Coral Gables Library and the Coral Gables Youth Center.

Over the past two years, I have discovered a safe and shaded walking route that’s two miles in length. Little Bear and I walk it most days. I have our favorite houses picked out, many photos of them saved on my camera roll and even hung up on my vision board. I’ve gotten used to our routines and my little Day-Life. I think I am taking the move hard.

I am not the only one in that house who doesn’t like change. Big Bear doesn’t either. He didn’t like changing school’s last August and he didn’t like when his brother was born. So to me, it’s only natural that he doesn’t like the new house.

When we went to visit the new house, BB wanted to show me the new swing set and the new fish tank (the pool) and nothing else. When I told him that dad and grandma needed to show me the rest of the house, he started freaking out and said no.

I finally got him to talk to me. I asked him if he was going to miss his old house and he said yes. He said that he doesn’t want a new house, that he loves the old one. We talked about all the fun memories we created in the old house. All the forts that we built, all the Friday night dance parties we had. Then I told him that the house just wasn’t big enough for his family anymore. I asked him if LB deserves his own bedroom and he said yes. The more we talked about the move, how even though it was a new house it would have all of his toys and his family, the more he warmed up. He continued with his meltdown, but I think he began to realize that the move can be fun and even an adventure.

I realize that life is about moving forward and new experiences and that when you have a family things are constantly changing. Your family is constantly growing, needing more space. Sometimes you grow out of houses, somethings you grow out of neighborhoods. But I guess that’s the fun of having a family. Big moves and new adventures aren’t scary, because you have each other.

The Bear’s are beginning to move things over to the new house but the official move won’t take place until Thursday. Every time I start to think about missing the old house, I think about all the times the UPS guy has woken up a sleeping Little Bear by banging on the front door or how the housekeep has woken him by pulling out the trash and recycling from their bins in the kitchen.

It’s our last week in the Bear House. I will be sure to take pictures of all the houses in the neighborhood that I’ve neglected to document, pick up my last books on hold at the library and take LB to the park by the Coral Gables Youth Center where he’ll see his girlfriend Lu.

Amazing memories happened in the old house. BB was born a month after they moved into the house. They brought LB home from the hospital to that house. But I think even more memories are going to happen in the new house. BB will learn how to read in that house and LB will be potty trained there. They will grow from little boys, to children to teenagers in that house. Most of their memories will take place there. If that isn’t special than I don’t know what is.



“Spring Break Forever.” -James Franco

Big Bear is back to school after his second spring break and we have officially entered the last leg of the school year. With the start of Big Bear’s summer camp, an impending move to a new Bear House and a new writing course, I can’t help but wonder what Summer 2017 has in store.

Firstly, I predict lots of hot, humid weather and annoyingly-timed sun showers. Before Big Bear’s summer camp starts, I also predict countless field trips. We are now proud owners of Jungle Island’s annual pass, along with our Zoo Miami and Miami Seaquarium annual passes. I’m assuming we’ll spend most of our camp-free days alternating between the three.

Big Bear will spend most of the summer at camp (from 8:30-4:30) and my days will mostly be spent with Little Bear. The first summer that I worked for the Bear’s, BB was just a little older than LB (BB was 2/12 and LB will be 2). It’s crazy to think that LB is almost the age that BB was when I first became a nanny. The older LB gets, the more adorable he gets. Except now he’s entering the terrible twos. He shakes his head violently “no” when he doesn’t get his way and he’s starting to throw his toys out of frustration. He also climbs….. everything. The other day, I found him standing on the train table. Why? When I caught him he smiled at me and said, “hi, train, uh-oh.” Each day is a test for him, how can I give my nanny a heart attack today.

BB is at the age that while he still wants to throw tantrums, you can reason with him. You can explain to him, almost logically, why he can’t do something. Sometimes he’ll cry and show his disappointment, but now he understands that there is a reason that he’s not allowed to eat a whole sleeve of golden Oreos before dinner or why he can’t draw on his little brother with permanent marker. Little Bear on the other hand has no clue why I tell him that he can’t eat week-old, stale Cheerios he found under the couch or throw buckles full of sand out of the sandbox.

Even though LB is 20-months old, I don’t want him to associate me, the nanny, with “cant’s and don’ts,” especially in a house full of so many adults who are all trying to parent their own way. I use these terms entirely too often and every time that I do, it makes me cringe. I believe there are ways to talk to a toddler throwing a tantrum, and sometimes telling them that they can’t do something isn’t the way.

BB, the kid who has never been a climber, decided to walk into dad’s office yesterday and stand on his swivle, office chair. Dad’s office is a deathtrap, which of course means that its the one room in the house both boys always fight to get into. The floor is littered with loose papers, receipts and notes. There’s usually an electric drill, maybe some screwdrivers at arms length. I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t caught LB casually strolling out of the office holding a hammer. A young Michael Myers in training.

I was truly shocked when I saw BB standing on that chair. I picked him up and put him on the ground. He began screaming right away. I told him that it was time to leave the office. That’s not what he wanted to hear. Instead of dragging him screaming out of the office, I sat down on the floor next to him so that I was eye level. I began to look around. I told him that I didn’t understand why he wanted to play in dad’s boring office when he has a playroom full of toys. He looked around with me. He got up and walked out the door.

At this point you’d think, “success!” But while I was talking Big Bear off the ledge, Little Bear had crept by me and was busy pushing the on/off button of dad’s printer. He didn’t get the same treatment as his big brother. I picked him up and closed the office door behind us. As predicted, he started screaming and kept saying “no, no, no.” But I brought him into the playroom where BB was busy playing with a toy bus and LB couldn’t get out of my arms fast enough. He always has to do what his big brother is doing.

Sometimes I leave work and I really have no idea why I’m so exhausted. Then I think about my day. I cook three meals for Little Bear. I clean up those three meals. I feed BB dinner. I  give them baths. I do laundry, the dishes. I pick up scattered toys and throw out dirty diapers. Despite all that, I know I am lucky. I get two hours a day (I consider it a long lunch break) to do yoga, read Rolling Stone or a novel, write my homework, this blog, or a personal essay, and if I really am just so tired, I have no shame watching the Lifetime Movie Club app on my iPad. It’s the best $3.99 I could spend each month.

Lately I’ve been on a kick that I want to get an MFA in creative writing. But everything I’ve read reaffirms to do what I’m doing now. Have a job thats 9-5 (or my case 8-6), where you can write. Take courses that aren’t a fortune that hone in on the kind of writing you want to do.

Children are so special, but they can also be so overwhelming. Sometimes I have to take a step back and say all that I’m grateful for. I never felt this way at my last job, the environment was just too toxic. The way I felt about who I was as a writer was also too toxic.

I am grateful to be on the same frequency as my Day-Fam, the kind of family I hope to have someday. I have a job where if my boss finds me sitting on the couch writing or reading, drinking green tea, she knows that LB is asleep and the house is in order and that I deserve the downtime. I also know that although it doesn’t look so good on paper, I’m glad I have a job that is building towards my future. Each day I discover something new about the way I want to raise my children, the way I want to write and the kind of writer I want to be. Most days, coming home exhausted is well worth the long days.




Day (and night) Mom

6:30, Friday night. I’m curled up in the master bedroom in the Bear House, where I have been sleeping for the past four nights. I can hear the boys in the playroom. They are playing with the backup babysitter. Big Bear is saying “Help, help, help” over and over again and Little Bear is walking back and forth outside my bedroom door, saying “knock, knock.”

I have been a full-time mom since Monday morning. Mama and Papa Bear left for a much-needed vacation to the Four Seasons in Costa Rica, and I have temporarily moved in the Bear House. But right now I’m hiding in the master bedroom, my first real break of the day. I’ve been watching Forensic Files, of course, and reflecting on my time as a “real” mom.

I’ve been on the clock since 8 am Monday morning, but I’m not as exhausted as I thought I would be. I think I’m really enjoying my fantasy life as a stay-at-home mom. I’ve been in charge of school drop off. Each morning, while sipping coffee, Big Bear and I look for construction trucks as we drive south on Old Cutler Road. I’ve been in charge of bedtime and getting to tuck in the boys and kiss them good night. Each morning when I go to wake up Big Bear, I am greeted with “Good Morning, Rach.” How can that not put you in a good mood?

I’ve developed a mom mentality. I have become my worst fear. I have become one of those moms who doesn’t want to leave their children with a new sitter. I hear them in the other room and I want to pull up the nanny cam, just to make sure they aren’t being ignored.

Tuesday night, I went to my creative writing course. Before I left, I made sure to walk the backup sitter through the bedtime routine. After showing her where LB’s bottles are and which books to read to BB at bedroom, I left the backup sitter and my Day-Sons and went to class. I had mom remorse. But when I crept back into the house later that night, I snuck into both of their rooms and watched their sleeping faces. I looked forward to seeing them the next morning.

Each evening the backup sitter has come to relieve me for a few hours. I usually spent that time in the bedroom, but after 45 minutes or so I started to miss the boys. I have fallen into the role of full-time mom, but I have had lots of help. Besides the backup sitter, I’ve had help from Grandma and Grandpa Bear. All week, we took turns going to dinner. But last night they invited me to join them at the Biltmore. We stayed out later than we intended and when we got home close to 9, both boys were wide awake and running around the house. I became an annoyed mom. They were in their same clothes. They weren’t given a bath and they didn’t have their pajamas on. But they were happy, safe and clearly tired. They were both ready for sleep.

Slightly tipsy, I took BB to his room and read to him. After kissing him goodnight and making sure LB was also asleep, I retreated to the bedroom. The biggest adjustment hasn’t been waking up each morning to get BB ready for school. It’s been sharing the bedroom with a male.

Emmy, the service dog, has been my roommate. Each night I have been awoken to his pacing and more annoyingly, his snores. My love for him hasn’t grown since we became roomies, but I’ve been giving him extra attention and extra treats. I think he’s the most upset about mom and dad leaving the country.

Mom and Dad come home tomorrow and I will go back to my own apartment. It’s been fun waking up to happy children each morning and to get hugs and kisses each evening before bed. I usually rush out the door each night, desperate to get to my own house. But I have genuinely been enjoying my role as full-time mom. The one thing I’m really going to miss is being able to curl up in bed while LB naps, and read, write, or binge reruns of Will & Grace.

Since it’s our last night before mom and dad come home, I promised BB that we would have a movie night with popcorn. We talked about having a good dinner, taking a nice bath and watching either Trolls or Sung, the only two movies BB will watch at the moment.

Come Monday, I will be back to being a Day-Mom. I won’t be seeing BB until late each afternoon and I will be walking out the door at 6:30 each night. I will sleep in my own bed, with no restless or snoring dog sharing my room. I will go back to my real life. I’ve had a real glimpse of being a full-time parent this week and I think I liked it. I now see why parents want to have children. There is something about being wanted by a tiny person that warms your heart. I am going to miss that round-the-clock love.

27 Reflections

Tomorrow I turn 28. Little Bear turns 19 months. Last year I wrote a simalliar post about how LB and I celebrated our birthdays (Gymboree and a coffee/milk date) and this year I’m expecting the same, sans Gymboree. We go to classes Wednesday and Thursday and Friday is our free day, usually spent at the park by the Coral Gables Youth Center and the Coral Gables Library.

Also like this time last year, I am barely recovered from our Disney trip. I’m not sure what I’m more excited for. To turn 28 or to finally get a day off of work. Today is my 11th day of work in a row. Tomorrow marks the 12th. In a strange way I’m more excited for the day after my birthday, when I can sleep in and not get woken up by Big Bear shouting “My poop is brown today not green,” like he did during one of our many mornings in Disney World.

As predicted, our trip was five days of sleep depriving, badly eating, no-time-to-relax chaos, but I enjoyed every second of it. My favorite part of the trip was definitely sneaking away with Aunt E to ride the Haunted Mansion (my favorite ride) and binge watching, as planned, Forensic Files. Oh, how the universe listens. My side of the suite was bigger than my apartment. The TV was also bigger than the one in my bedroom (any TV is bigger because I don’t have a TV in my room) and was playing a Forensic Files marathon on HLN the entire time we were there. I was in Heaven.

What wasn’t in Heaven? My mind, body and spirt. The first few days at Disney World went by reality painless. I was awaken each day by the boys, not an alarm clock, and they were both so tired each evening that they went to bed without a fight. It wasn’t until Big Bear woke me up at 6:45 on Saturday morning that I got my real glimpse of  being a parent. I often forget that when I go home, I clock out. I go home to my apartment that is childless and eat dinner without having to keep a 19th-month-old and a four-year-old occupied. I really got a glimpse of being a full-time, single parent this trip. I applaud everyone who does it every day.

When children wake up for the day, they are up. It’s the same when they wake up from an afternoon nap. They don’t want to roll around in bed for a while, or play on their phone or check their email (maybe because they don’t have any of that?) They wake up, run out of bed and expect everyone else in the house to be as equally happy and cheery and ready to start the day. I found myself having my second cup of coffee before we even left the house for breakfast each morning, where copious amounts of coffee was continued to be consumed. If a person can OD from coffee, that would have been me.

The mornings might have been rough for me, but the evenings were my favorite. Not because it meant that the boys would be going to bed soon and that I would be free, it meant that I got to put Big Bear to bed, something I haven’t don’t in almost a year. Before he entered Pre-K and was still in daycare, I would tuck him in for an afternoon nap each day with a handful of books. I had forgotten how much I missed snuggling up next to him and watching him as he pulled his favorite books off his bookshelf. Every night during our trip we read from the books I packed and snuggled as he drifted off to sleep. I would wait until he was fast asleep and would watch his not-so-tiny face drift off into dreamland. With Little Bear sleeping or fighting sleep in the master suite with his parents, I would half-collapse into bed and elevate my feet while watching my favorite show.

With our Disney trip behind us, I guess its time to get excited for my birthday. Last year my Day-Fam surprised me with a birthday cake and presents. My chocolate birthday cake was covered in different colored balloons made out of frosting and Big Bear and I still laugh about how he stole my red frosting balloon right off my cake and shoved it in his mouth.

During our Disney trip, I told Papa Bear that I have a deep bond with Little Bear. Although I love the Bear Bros equally, I told him that I think I have a stronger connection with LB because we share the same birth date. He said he thinks its because I’ve been watching him since the day he was born. I think that it might be both.

Horoscope for those born on the 3rd of the month (courtesy of the Daily Mail):

“You have a good sense of humour and enjoy communicating with others. You may also have artistic or creative abilities. People are attracted to your charismatic personality. You have that ‘certain something.”

It wouldn’t be fair to talk about Little Bear’s horoscope and not Big Bear’s. Here’s the horoscope for people born on the 19th of the month:

“You have executive abilities and are driven to achieve your goals. When you admit your mistakes and accept advice from others, you increase your potential for success. A talented leader, you are often respected by others.”

I don’t think that I could come up with a more perfect horoscope for either of my Day-Boys. For so long Little Bear was so much small than Big Bear. Now Big Bear is becoming a boy and  Little Bear is quickly catching up to him. They are getting dangerous close to becoming the same size and weight. It’s only a matter of time before they both fully grow into their zodiac signs and those traits and characteristics become more prominent. I’m looking forward to seeing that change and growth.


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