I’m not entirely sure what’s more annoying: Telling men that I am a nanny or mothers that I’m a nanny.
I know they say that when you are “the one” you’re the one and that men won’t care about your job, but three weeks before my 27th birthday, it’s a little weird to call myself a nanny. Shouldn’t this be the phase of my life where I am in my career, not out of one career already and desperately trying to figure out what I want to do with my life?
Telling people that you’re a nanny is strange. You get several different responses, but they are all clique. You have the maternal women who think you are a saint, and you also have the cold-hearted women who don’t understand why you would devote your waking hours to taking care of other people’s kids. As for men, some find it cool but you also get the type of men who hear “babies” and assume that since you take care of kids all day that you are just dying to pop out a dozen of your own. Or you have the men who hear you’re trying to be a writer and don’t really care about the day-time nanny gig.
But the most annoying types of responses I get are from the insecure mothers I meet at preschool or mommy and me classes. They look at me: Tall, skinny, wearing workout clothes with a crazy, messy bun at the top of my head. The look of a retired dancer. They start to ask about the children’s parents: A partner at a law firm and a CTO for a local company, very successful power couple. They ask me if I’m married. I respond with a quick no.
From here, most of the women will continue to look me up and down at least a few more times and end the conversation, presumably to gossip about me to the real mothers. But then every so often, you meet those mothers with no filters, who say what everyone is thinking.
“I could never have a hot nanny!” “I wouldn’t have my husband anywhere near you!” Yes, these are actual conversations I’ve had. I try hard to not let these comments upset me, but they certainly rub me the wrong way. I believe that when you are in a committed relationship and you are confident in the relationship you wouldn’t feel intimidated about anyone, including the nanny.
Yes, I know that Ben Affleck, Gavin Rossdale and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all banged their nanny. But look at them, are we really that surprised? When your husband isn’t a sleazeball, forgive me if you think I am overstepping my boundaries, you can have a “hot” nanny. This hot nanny certainly loves her two Bears, and thinks the world of them, and would never think about putting her ridiculously good paying job in jeopardy.
As much as I love being a nanny, I am looking forward to the days, once again, where I make my living as a writer. When after I make it, I can tell people that in my mid-twenties I had an identity crisis and abruptly quit my job at a software company to raise children and write, and that it was the best decision that I could have ever made.